Trying Not to Cry on THIS Day

Yeah, isn't that a pathetic goal? Trying to make it through one day without crying.  It's noon on the fourth day that my husband has been a political prisoner and I've managed to make it through the morning without crying my eyes out.  I've welled up and started to go all self-pity on myself, but choked it back.  I'm tired of puffy, bloodshot eyes. I am not a dainty, pretty cryer.

Yesterday, the second day since my husband became a political prisoner, the A/C in the barn apartment stopped working properly. I called the A/C guy and he came out to check it.  Thankfully, it was only a little low on freon, so that's off my anxiety list.  So far today, everything is running smoothly.

I found this long snakeskin in the coop yesterday morning.  I expect to meet it's former inhabitant sometime soon.  Snake removal was Tom's job.

On July 20, 2018, I wrote:

I'm still sick and shaky, but was able to finally get some sleep last night.  I can hardly eat anything, but I wanted to lose weight anyway, so I guess that's a silver lining (BTW, I never lost that weight despite three years of terror.  So, I guess there wasn't a silver lining after all).

We received a little more information yesterday from Tom's attorney, Mike Gibson.  Still nobody can understand why the indictment was obtained in Fort Worth and moved to Dallas.  I think normally, the indictment is obtained in the district where the accused lives.  Anyway, it's a two count indictment and at the moment I don't really understand what that means, but I'm sure it will become clearer to me as time passes, even though I'd be happy to never know what a two count indictment is.  They are charging us under 18 USC 371 for evasion of payment of taxes and a Klein Conspiracy.

Mr. Gibson also told us that they have arranged for us to "self surrender" on August 7 or 8.  And, also that no bail would be required, and after "processing" - mugshots and fingerprints, people.  This kind of humiliation should not be perpetrated upon innocent law-abiding citizens - we will be released on our own recognizance and allowed to return home.  Isn't it ironic that they know that we are honorable, honest people that pose no threat to anyone and will keep our word that we'll be around for trial.

As a woman, it's hard for me to keep perspective on this and my mind automatically goes to worse case scenario, to minutiae and unimportant things like "will they allow me to have my make-up in prison?"  I'm blessed to be surrounded by friends and family that snatch me back from the edge and help me to get some perspective. (Now that I know more, the answer is "No, they do not let you take your makeup into prison with you.")

First of all, I have the truth on my side.  The problem is, I've seen that often the truth does not matter to the courts and sometimes they won't even let the truth be heard because they disallow evidence and the one and only thing the courts are concerned with is ADMINISTRATIVE PROCEDURE.  But, still, I do have the truth and innocence, so there's that.

Secondly, I know that God is in control.  I don't know the reasons for this and I can't see the end result, but there is a reason this is happening and all things work together for good for those that love the Lord. (Let me tell you, it is a difficult thing to remember during such a trial.)

Thirdly, I'm not going to prison tomorrow.  Each day I can tell myself that.  There will be motions and briefs and hearings and all kinds of possibilities for a good outcome before the actual trial.

My best friend from high school has worked for federal judges, first in Dallas, then in OKC, for years and knows the system.  When Mr. Gibson told Tom that I would need my own lawyer, she recommended a lawyer she knows that used to be a prosecutor and never lost a case.  (I have to wonder if, as a prosecutor, he ever prosecuted an innocent person).  She called him for me as a head's up and I called his office this morning and will be meeting with him next week.

Start at the beginning of this saga.