The Case of the Missing Peaches

I was gone for 24 hours.  Twenty-four hours, y'all.  One. single. overnight. trip.  My plan was to pick the rest of those peaches when I got back because they just need a day or two more to ripen.

This morning, I got my pickin' sacks, took the golf cart (because I have to stand on the back of it to reach the higher limbs) and went out to our little orchard.  This is what I saw.

No, this can't be.  Maybe my contacts are a little fuzzy **takes off sunglasses to see better**.

 Get closer.  Peer up into the branches.  Do you see any peaches?  No peaches.  No peaches anywhere.  What?

So, I'm thinking, thinking, incredulous, but thinking...Did the birds eat all the peaches?  Did the squirrels come pick them and eat them all in one night?  We had a rainstorm last night, the wind wasn't bad, but is it possible that they could have been blown off?  **starts looking at the ground**

Peach pit here, peach pit there.  Seriously?  Those stupid squirrels!

But...wait, what's this?  What are those footprints?  They could be mine, made from the heel of my shoe.  But, the last time I was out there, it was dry and hard and I walk so softly that Husband never hears me coming and I scare him out of his shoes.

Man, that looks like donkey hoof prints.  But, it can't be.

The donkeys are grazing serenely and innocently in their pastures.  See?  It must be deer.  They don't look like deer prints, but there is no other explanation.  The donkeys can't jump the fence.  The deer can.  But, why didn't Harry Dog and Ginger Girl chase them off like they usually do?

So, I walk around having a look at the two other peach trees, which have not a single peach on them either.  Then, what's this?

Now, THIS, this is donkey poop for sure.

**lighbulb goes off in head**

While I was gone, Husband mowed the pasture behind the pond.  To mow the pasture behind the pond, he must open the gate to said pond pasture, drive the tractor through said gate, get out of the tractor and CLOSE said gate so that the donkeys and goats don't go out of said gate.  The only problem is, for some inexplicable reason, after living here for ten years and leaving gates open countless times and having to try, unsuccessfully, to herd the goats and donkeys back into the pasture, and having to call ME to come round them up...Husband STILL leaves gates open.  So, I look over to the gate.  Sure enough.  Gate wide open.

Yeah, now it's closed.

So, either yesterday while Husband was mowing, or last night while we were sleeping, the donkeys came out of the pasture, ate every single delicious peach on every tree

 (except for ONE small, hard, unripe one).  I have no idea how they reached the highest ones that were at least 10 feet off the ground, unless they stood on their hind feet to reach them.

Then, they started in on the plum tree.  But, either they deemed the plums not ripe enough, or they were just so stinkin' full of peaches, that they couldn't eat another bite.  They only left a couple of plum pits on the ground.  Then, they ambled back into the pasture as if nothing ever happened.

I'm surprised they don't have a stomach ache this morning, but they're still standing, so I guess they just enjoyed their feast.  And, me?  I'm royally ticked off because those were some of the best tasting peaches I've had in a long time.  But, guess what we learned?  If we leave the gate open, the donkeys might come out (well, WILL come out), but...they'll go back in...eventually.  Which is all well and good if you don't care about what they'll do while they're roaming around free.